15 Reasons Why
by xplacebo
Summary: 15 pairings challenge. Prompt 5: "What Tyki loved he had to destroy, so when he loved an exorcist there was really only option."
1. Running in Place

**A/N: So, I took the LJ prompt challenge for "15 Pairings" ages ago, but never actually wrote it. I decided I finally get off my lazy bum, so I'm writing and posting the prompts now. There will be 15 total drabbles, each one with a different prompt and pairing, but all in the DGM fandom. I haven't finished all of them yet, so feel free so suggest a pairing, and I'll most likely get around to it. **

**Prompt # 1: Running in Place  
Summary: ****_"Miranda didn't think she was helping the Order at all, useless creature that she was."  
_Spoilers: Nope.  
Rating: PG**

"Miranda, you can stop now,"

Miranda vaguely heard Reevers voice, but she blocked it out as best she could. _I have to keep going. If I don't make progress I can help Allen-kun and Lenalee-chan.  
_Reever's voice came again, louder this time. "Miranda! Stop invoking! It's been over five hours!"

She ignored him again.

"Miranda! Damnit!" She heard his footsteps coming closer, and then she felt him grabbing her and pulling her into a standing posistion. As soon as she stopped invoking her innocence, Miranda felt the exaustion hitting her, and her limbs trembled, reminding her how weak she was.

"If you don't start listening to us, then we're going to have to force you to stop training." Reever told her. "At least rate you'll hurt yourself."

_It's no good. I'm useless. I might as well stop trying to be an exorcist, because I'm just running in place here. There's been no improvement. I haven't improved, I'll never improve, I'm so useless. I'm a burden. _Miranda opened her mouth to start to voice this thoughts aloud, but stopped herself. If Reever realized how pathetic she was, she'd never be allowed to train again. Instead, she nodded slightly at Reever, and tried to keep herself from yawning.

"When's the last time you slept?" Reever asked, noting the bags under her eyes and the poorly held back yawn.

"I'm not sure. But, it's fine. Back I home I barely ever slept. I was so worried about whatever job I'd just been fired from!" She told him, with a nervous smile.

Reever gave her a look she couldn't quite decipher, and ordered her to go to bed.

Miranda wandered through the halls, wishing she was back in the training area, instead of killing time doing nothing. At least in the training room she could pretend she was making good progress. When she was in the Order, alone, Miranda's mind forced her to realize the utter pointlessness training, when she wasn't strong like Lenalee and Allen, or even smart like Komui. As her though process became more and more self depreciating, Miranda began to sing softly, and automatically.

"_Miranda, Miranda, unlucky Miranda,_

_You're not popular_

_You're too dark_

_You're so slow..."_

She stopped as the door in front of her swung open, nearly hitting her in the face, and a cross looking Komui poked his head out. "Who's singing?" He demanded. "I'm trying to nap, and your singing interuppted me!"

Miranda blushed, mortified. "I'm so sorry!" She said, trying to fix things with the head of the science department. _Stupidstupidstupidstupid. _"I know my singing isn't very good, and I didn't mean to wake you up, I didn't realize you were in there! Sorry! So-"

He cut her off. "It's not that. Your singing is fine. I just hate to hear a sweet, pretty, smart girl like you singing a song like..._that_." He gave her a smile, yawned, and slammed the door again. "Oh, and you're not too dark." Miranda heard his last muffled remark through the wood door.

Miranda was left staring at the door, blushing for an entirely different reason than embarrassment, and feeling maybe not so completely useless after all.


	2. Drunk

**Prompt # 7: Drunk (Yeah, I'm totally not doing these in order. Dx)  
Summary: _"The two of them had a routine. He would hand her the wine, they would chat for a bit while he waited for her to get appropriately intoxicated, and then the sweet talking would begin_****_."  
_Spoilers: Nope.  
Rating: PG for Cross. :D**

Cross was always trying to get her drunk, and that was only _one_ of the many reason Cloud desisted him. Besides the fact that he always lusting after everything that slightly resembled a girl (She'd heard that when he first met Kanda, Cross has even tried to seduce the teenage _boy_), besides the fact that he was a idiotic, lazy, drunken buffoon, he also seemed to hold the mistaken belief that as soon as Cloud was drunk, Cross would have full access to the inside of her pants.

Ridiculous.

She tolerated letting him try to seduce her. It was probably because she just thought it was amusing to see him trying and failing over and over again. He would hand her the wine, they would chat for a bit while he waited for her to get appropriately intoxicated, and then the sweet talking would begin.

_"You have gorgeous eyes."  
"I was thinking about you all day."_

And sometimes he would hit on something that was actually an issue to her, and Cloud would stiffen, and consider handing him the wine and leaving the room.

_"You know, those scars don't make you any less beautiful."_

When he saw that it was a touchy subject for her, he would delve into it more and more, because that's what that lecherous man did best. Finding ways to endear girls to him. He would tell her that she was still the most beautiful girl in the Order, and if he was particularly drunk that night, he would venture to say that no, she was the prettiest girl in the world.

Sometimes she yelled at him for saying such stupid _untrue_ nonsense. Sometimes she worried that he was really talking about someone else. Sometimes she was flattered. Sometimes, but only rarely, she considered kissing him.

But that was probably just because of the wine.


	3. Something that Lasts

**A/N: I _love _this pairing. -contented sigh- (Lolwhat I like a logical and semi popular pairing?) I don't love this chapter though. Dx I don't even really like it.**

**Prompt # 3: Something that Lasts  
Summary: ****_"It was so loud in his head and he wished desperately that Lenalee was with him."  
_Spoilers: Spoilers for episode 88-89(ish?) in the anime.  
Rating: PG**

Ever since the ark, when Road had awakened the darker side of Lavi, he could feel like living in the recesses of his mind, almost biding it's time until Lavi was weak enough to give up control again. It scared him, having this _thing_ waiting in the wings. Sometimes, in the moments between sleeping and waking, it would talk, tell Lavi just what it thought about whatever it was it Lavi had done wrong. Mostly, it was about a certain female exorcist.

It could see the way Lavi reacted to Lenalee. The way his nonexistent heart swelled and beat faster, how his pulse was louder than ever in his ears.

And the darker side of him laughed. Lavi hated how it was there in the darker parts of him, making him feel so ashamed. It would remind him that even if Lenalee wasn't so in love with Allen, then it wasn't like she really _knew _him. She knew _Lavi_, a personality, a name, a fallacy, a facade. The Bookman side of him was the real side, it told him, the side that had been more than willing to let Lenalee sob out the facade's name, while their body punched Allen. This was the side that wouldn't die off when the 49th name was destroyed. "Lavi" wasn't somebody that lasted or mattered.

_Bookmen do not feel for those that they record, they do not interfere more than necessary, and above all they do not become attached. Can't you do that, Lavi? _

His darker side told in a singsong voice, one night, reminding Lavi what he already knew. As the 49th name, he knew that he was a part of Bookman, and he was eventually going to be absorbed back into the mass of "dead" personalities. In the meantime he shouldn't be thinking of Lenalee the way he did.

He hated it. He hated himself, he hated his other side that just wouldn't leave him alone, and the hatred filled his head so noisily that he found himself wishing Lenalee was with him, because it only when she was around that his head was truly quiet.

His darker companion laughed at those sorts of thoughts. _I'm only quiet because I'm enjoying the show. You're such a mess around her!_

Lavi was getting weaker, and the Bookman part of him was getting stronger. Lavi knew it was only a matter of time before he was deleted, and that thought scared him the most. It would be worse than if an Akuma or Noah killed him, because the body that Lenalee associated with "Lavi" would still be around, but Lavi wouldn't be there anymore, and she wouldn't know it. It killed him to think that he could disappear and she wouldn't even notice. He was dispensable and it hurt.

One mission, Lenalee pulled him aside from the group, and smiled at him. The heart Lavi didn't have hammered loudly in his chest.

"Um, Lavi. I'm worried about you," Lenalee began, pulling on the edges of her short hair. Lavi, his keen eyes staring at Lenalee like they did most of the time, noticed her anxiety and nervousness. She was scared of something. "You seem...quieter than normal. And, more sad." She continued.

He grinned at her. "I'm fine, Lenalee. You're such a worrywart."

She frowned, and Lavi hated himself. She shouldn't be frowning and worrying about him. "You're lying." Lenalee accused him. Then she opened her mouth a few times, struggling for words. "I've been wanting to talk to you for ages, but Bookman keeps you so busy now. Lavi..."

He said something, but he already couldn't remember it at all, or even what his name was right now, because Lenalee was suddenly kissing him. Her lips were on his, and they were insistent. He got the feeling that this was something Lenalee had been thinking about for a while, the way he had been thinking about Lenalee since he first arrived at the Order.

"Lavi," She finally pulled her lips away, and whispered in his ear. "Lavi..."

That was his name. He was Lavi, and Lavi was suddenly in control of his mind in a way he hadn't been since before the ark. He leaned in and kissed Lenalee again, and using the strength she gave him, he filled his head with as much light as he could.

The darker side of him swore loudly, and then again, quieter, and it disappeared.

His head was quiet again, as only Lenalee could make it.

**A/N: Uh...that was confusing. Sowwy. Leave a review if you didn't understand. Dx Well, leave me a review if you understood it, too! Reviewers get cookies. ;)**


	4. Fifteen

**Prompt # 14: Fifteen  
Summary: "It had been fifteen years since he last kissed her, but the memory of it was still enough to get him through the worst of anything."****_  
_Spoilers: Nope.  
****Rating: PG  
Warning: Character death.**

Disclaimer: Lol, I've been forgetting these. xD I OWN NOTHING! D: Also, that last bit is based on some book I read once, that I cannot for the life of me remember the title of. Dx So, um, yeah.

He'd only kissed her once.

It hadn't mattered for those brief seconds that Miranda was so much older than Lavi, that Lavi wasn't real anyway, that they were in the middle of a war.

It had just been a few seconds in the hallways at night, caused by the fact they neither of them could sleep. One quick kiss, a moment of weakness, because at night when Miranda was so tired that her eyes could barely stay open, and Lavi walked in a daze, feeling like a ghost, the two of them hardly knew what they were doing.

So, they kissed. And Lavi was able to fall asleep after he'd finally wandered back into his room, in a cheerful haze. For the first time in years, he didn't have a nightmare that night. When he woke Lavi knew he should feel awful about it, but he didn't. Kissing Miranda had somehow been so sweet, that the memory of it carried him through the day.

The thought of it brought him through the akuma battles, through Bookman's death, through his inevitable ascent to the role of Bookman. He was forced to leave the Order, and to go back to witnessing and recording all of the inhumane acts that humanity was capable of.

Miranda created his heart, and he left it with her, but he took with him the thoughts of their kiss. It was a warm, well kept secret, that stayed inside of him, fuzzy and heartbreaking at the same time. When things were horrible, he could tell himself remind himself of the kiss, and tell himself that if he ever needed to, he could go and kiss Miranda again. It encouraged him like nothing else did.

He knew that she had probably moved on, that he should have moved on, that it had been years, that the Order was sure to have moved by now. As a Bookman, he was aware of all of these facts, but it didn't matter.

Then, fifteen years later, he ended up recording in an area that was infested by akuma, which of course meant exorcists. Lavi hoped desperately that Miranda would come, but it was Lenalee who finally showed up.

The two of them started talking. Lavi, having already decided that he had failed as a Bookman and might as well admit it, asked how Miranda was doing.  
Lenalee got abruptly quiet. Lavi, so good at reading emotions, felt a sudden ache where his heart would've been, if he had one. After the silence ended, Lenalee explained that Miranda had been killed by a Noah over a year ago.

Miranda was dead. She'd been dead for a long time. He would never kiss her again. There would never be another perfect few seconds. Lavi felt like he was hurting all over, and yet was strangely numb at the same time. His encouragement was gone. His warm light was gone. His Miranda was gone. Forever.

At first he wasn't sure what to think. The months after that were nothing, and each moment passed slowly like each second was at least a day.

And then Lavi came to a decision. There was nothing he could do at the moment, but once he died... If he made it to heaven, (_when _he did, he would get there for Miranda, who was certainly there) first he would say hello to Bookman, and apologize to him for being such an awful apprentice. Then, he was talk to Allen and Komui, and the rest of the Order members that he knew to be dead. Finally, he would find Miranda, and he would kiss her.

Then he would know for sure that somehow he'd made it to heaven.


	5. Make Me

__

**Prompt # 5: "Make Me"  
Summary: ****_"What Tyki loved he had to destroy, so when he loved an exorcist there was really only option."  
_Spoilers: Nopers.  
Rating: T for Tyki.  
Warnings: BoyxBoy pairing. Don't like, don't read, it's as simple as that. Also, this was supposed to be creepy...but it didn't really end up as creepy as I wanted.**

What I love, I destroy.

It started out with just humans. The first few months after the agony of the being a Noah faded, Tyki could get by with just a few deaths every several weeks. The bloodier the death, the longer it could hold him. There was something so delicate but strong about humans, about the way their faces looked in the final moments. Twisted, screaming. So lovely.

It didn't last as the right solution for long though. Soon after he started hunting exorcists, Tyki found that the pleasure of killing just humans wasn't enough. They needed to have innocence for him to destroy. They needed to have those powers that made it somewhat of a challenge.

Then, he met Allen Walker. His white side took an immediate liking to the cheating boy. His black side found fun in hunting him down, in seeing him in pain. There was something so intimate in the way he screamed Tyki's name while Tyki hurt him. Breaking him, inside and out.

Allen would beg him to stop, and Tyki would lean down and whisper in his ear "make me". To demonstrate just how control he was, Tyki would break a wrist, or an arm.

The sight of his tears and blood were delicious. Tyki took special thrill in knowing that he had caused them, that Allen was in so much pain because of _him. _Everything about Allen was beautiful to Tyki; he loved it all.

He loved Allen too much, and so he had to ruin him.

**A/N: Yeah, I still have a few requests...but I wanted to write this. ___ Which is probably extremely unhealthy. But, on the upside, I plan to start updating again!**


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